My fears

My current state: Being an external post-graduate student is lonely, frustrating and self-depreciating. I yearn for contact with other academics, PhD students and professors for high-minded discussion, to check out my ideas, theories and constructs.

New word: ‘Constructs’ because it sounds good and could mean anything.

My fears: Contact with my uni professor. I dare not email her. Never phone up, or own up that I haven’t done enough work. Don’t reveal that my ideas and constructs are a muddle of prescriptions and descriptions without enough clarity and direction.

More fears: That all other post grads can use a sophisticated ‘academic register’ that I don’t have.

Favourite read: My professor’s latest book. She wrote a dedication inside the front page “to the memory of my mother, the best teacher any child could have had.”

What I need most: A mother.

Action: I rang the uni and talked to my supervisor.

Outcome: She said those other post grads were ‘showing off’ and I should get on with my writing.

Consequences: Keep writing, my chapter is quite good.